CHIMERA'S GUIDE TO THE NPCS
AND TECHNOLOGY OF QUASISPACE
v1.1
1.0 Technology
1.1 TRANSDIMENSIONAL TELEMETRY DESTABILIZER The TTD is a complex piece of
equipment, usually about the size of a toaster oven. While different models
come with all kinds of odd peripherals, the main function of the TTD is simply
to teleport itself (and any other objects pre-selected by the operator) to
another dimension. This is a very difficult process, only accomplished by
tech-heads.
1.2 TELE-KIDNAPPING TELEPORTATIONAL DEVICE The TKTD is a very simple device,
about the size of a remote control. It's very user friendly, being designed for
even the dumbest and craziest of Mads. You can either select to kidnap any
person pre-programmed into memory, or let the TKTD select a new victim by
entering in keywords.
1.3 PHYSICS BIAS GEAR This stuff, whatever form it takes (a watch, a belt,
etc), essentially turns a guy from a normal person into a hero who the author
is clearly rooting for. As such they're virtually unbeatable. They can even
violate the laws of physics in order to win. They can't even be embarrassed,
generally speaking. The only thing that can stop a guy with Physics Bias Gear
is if he does something to himself...
2.0 NPCs and NPC ORGANIZATIONS
2.1 FARRAH A timecop, Farrah is a beautiful tall redhead whose skirt has been
torn in such a way that it allows her to do high-kicks, and for that matter
shows off her panties. She's the leader of the team. Last Seen: Alive and
stupid
2.2 HARVEY THE WONDER HAMSTER Leader of the Hamster Brigade and talented
aerobics instructor (we think he knows his pilates too), Harvey and his hamster
friends provide backup power on a regular basis through a wide variety of
means. Last Seen: Arrested on suspicion of drug trafficking.
2.3 JACLYN A Timecop, Jaclyn is a beautiful shortish brunette whose uniform is
perpetually ripped so that the audience can see her racy underwear. She's the
sexy one of the team. Last Seen: Alive and stupid.
2.4 KATE A Timecop, Kate is a beautiful mid-height blonde whose uniform
includes a labcoat that nonetheless doesn't obstruct her cleavage. She's the
brainy one of the team. Last Seen: Alive and stupid.
2.5 MAMMON ESURIENT PENUMBRA, ESQUIRE The strangely shadow-hidden CEO
of UVULA Enterprises, Mister Penumbra is always in search of a profit and can
smell an exploitive opportunity from fifty yards off (and through pack ice, just
like a polar bear). Demands that all of his employees celebrate every time he takes
over a planet on pain of death, even though he takes over a new planet once or
twice a minute. His sense of humor usually involves the genocide of entire
species. Likes to take pixie stix before playing with firearms. Last Seen:
Being a total jerk.
2.6 MEURTE Or more properly, Willias Meurte, AKA the Great Death. Meurte is an
intelligent and attractive warrior of Latin descent. As he's Penumbra's right
hand man and highest ranking security officer in the high-tech UVULA
corporation, he's usually well equipped. Sadly this doesn't prevent him from
being killed on a regular basis, something he's getting really tired of. Last
Seen: Dead, alive, dead, alive, dead, alive, dead, alive-
2.7 NNIRK SSUCINOMED Looking a lot like Krinn, only dressed in a stylish black
suit, red silk shirt, and black cape. Nnirk claims to be the son of a
crackwhore who turned to diabolism and demon summoning to rise to power. Upon
finding his world's equivalent to Torture Theater, a quick scry revealed to him
the Quasi-Gang, and he decided that traveling the Multiverse to torture them
would be an interesting thing to do. Actually, Nnirk is actually the "Evil
Side" of Demonicuss Krinn, formed by the remnants of the digested remains that
Virgil excreted. Nnirk is evil because he was created out of griffinshit,
although he isn't telling anyone that. Riffwise, Nnirk is darkly sarcastic,
intellectual, and hentai, often keeping an eye towards the ladies. Last Seen:
Being combined with a lizard so he can dampen supernatural powers.
2.8 PHIL Phil serves as a janitor for all of the theaters in all of the
alternate universes. He's a perfectly ordinary looking guy in overalls (and so
are all his seemingly uncountable clones). Extremely calm, extremely capable,
he can clean up any mess, even waxy buildup. Constantly speaks in third person
and is perpetually seeking 'The One'. Last Seen: Mopping up Oniko and Krinn's
remains.
2.9 SEARCHER A suave Mad, who's somehow affiliated (or at least aquatinted)
with UVULA. He dresses in white and gray Armani and is usually seen wielding a
quarterstaff. He's the self-proclaimed evil twin of the well-known Wanderer,
but he's not really pure evil. In fact he can be a very nice, upstanding
citizen... as long as everything is going his way. Skilled in the use of
Telekidnapping Retrieval Systems (TKRS) and Temporal Telemetry Destabilizers
(TTD), and most resources he might require are a single phone call away. Also a
highly skilled lurker. Last Seen: On vacation picking up chicks.
2.10 TIMECOPS (organization) Members of the Timecops represent the most
dangerous of all combinations... they're idiots, and they have big guns. Worse,
they have Physics Bias equipment that allows the rules of their universe (where
they're goodguys always win) to supercede that of all other universes. This
makes them essentially unbeatable... at least, in a fight. And for some reason
they're all extremely attractive, well-endowed young women.
2.11 THE CUTE LITTLE GIRL RABBIT THAT LOVES EON Haling from the dimensional
plane known simply as the Meadow featured in ep 104, this is the cutest
fluffiest wuffiest widdle bunny wabbit that you ever did see. Last Seen: Being
twisted in half by Nnirk.
2.12 THE MAGICAL WRENCH FAIRY The Magical Wrench Fairy was accidentally
conjured by Cosmos' wacky deus ex machina power in ep 102 in response to her
craving for a wrench. It's small, has a wrench, and flutters around in an
annoying fashion. Speaks in a high-pitched squeak nobody seems to understand.
Also has a fetish for Macross-Effect mechanoids. Last Seen: Callously killed by
Ryukage.
2.13 UNIT001 This was a strange prototype TTD which took over a tank,
transformazoided it, was destroyed, and finally has been repaired. Now it
controls the original tank form (a fully loaded M1A1 Abrams). It has no
conscience and no soul, yet somehow takes pleasure in murder. THIS OMNIPOTENT
UNIT ALWAYS SPEAKS IN ALL CAPS AND THIRD PERSON, AS WELL AS FOSTERS A
CONSIDERABLE EGO COMPLEX. Last Seen: Being the regular Mad.
2.14 UVULA Enterprises (organization) The evilest of evil mega-corporations,
UVULA operates in every dimension, annihilating the environment and all that is
dignified in the humanoid spirit in search of the almighty dollar.
2.15 VIRGIL THE WONDER GRIFFIN Ordered by Krinn from Notorious Wu Enterprises,
Virgil is a half-lion, half-eagle beast that strangely behaves like a spoiled
housecat. Of course, since he's the size of a bull elephant and has razored
claws and beak, this is cause for concern. Last Seen: Recruited by UVULA to
guard the snack counter.